Oct 22, 2016; Baton Rouge, LA, USA; LSU Tigers running back Leonard Fournette (7) before a game against the Mississippi Rebels at Tiger Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports /
The 2017 NFL Draft begins with Round 1 this Thursday. Today, the CWT is going to have a little fun skewering the mock drafts and propose our own thoughts on what to expect on Thursday, Friday, and Beyond.
It’s Draft Week!
As some of you may recall, Coloring With Teal kicked off last year and one of my earliest articles was on the Mock Draft.
Well, to be more accurate, I wanted to mock the drafting, not mock the draft. Does that help clarify things?
For my first run in February, I wanted to go broad and make fun of the teams and a semi-serious prognostication on their draft style. For my second article just before the draft in late April, I focused on the first round and my approach was, shall we say, maybe a bit zany. At the very least, I whiffed on most of my mockery picks, and I was way off on Chicago’s drafting of the famous self-propelled floor vacuum, the Roomba (in the first round).
An irreverent grab-bag of wild guesses
As I’ve mentioned in those articles, attempting to forecast the draft is silly at the outset. I’m not saying it is a waste to do so, because many of those articles inform us about the players in an entertaining, interesting way. What I am saying is that there are too many surprises in each draft, with 32 different ideas and philosophies and team needs and so on, to be able to accurately get inside their heads. Even the ‘gurus’ whiff on their mock drafts. How many mockers will get more than maybe a third of the first round correct?
And after the first round, it’s anybody’s guess. Take note, for example, that there are 1001 players registered for the draft. That’s one more than CBS Sports has ranking slots for! Anyway, without knowing anything about players, the probability of picking the right player for a team in the first pick alone is 1/1001. Statistically, without taking other teams’ selections into account, the number of possible draft predictions for the Jaguars’ eight selections is
1001! / (8!*993!)=a very, very huge number
of which only one will be correct (the “!” means factorial, which you can be reminded of here). I say this to a) point out the statistics and b) to show off my math skills. Nevertheless, we do enjoy the mock drafts that get put out there, and look forward to seeing them.
After bringing you articles this offseason that have been more serious in tone, I decided I wanted to open up the next phase of the offseason by letting loose a bit. Here’s how this works this year: I will do just enough research to know 1) which team owns a given pick, 2) what player is prognosticated by major draftniks such as Mel Kiper (Who?) and Gil Brandt (Who??) pretty much anyone else whose mock I click and skim over. Once that is done, I will either make a semi-informative remark or I will just make up whatever nonsense drifts through my brain at that moment.
Last year, the editors were not sure that my humor would be noticed as the irreverent grab-bag of wild guesses that it is, so they inserted a disclaimer. As my first act of insurrection, I will cut them off at the pass with:
Coloring With Teal’s Disclaimer of Content (CWTDoC):
This edition of CWT contains Safe-For-Work content that is not a serious attempt
to predict real, actual picks. Most of this content is likely made up and should be
viewed as such. In fact, it’s likely that you are reading this now because you have
already read all the other “real” mock drafts and Black & Teal features, and there
are no other articles left to read. Don’t worry, I’m just happy to get the clicks. -CWT
Now that that is taken care of, let’s begin.
Oh, yeah, sorry–nearly forgot to mention something. Nearly every year there is a trade, a situation which is virtually unpredictable until just days before the draft, when rumors are more substantiable. Because trades are so unpredictable and I’m just a guy with zero “connections”, I will not be including any trades in my Mock Draft Mockery.
Whew….there are a lot of picks in the first round! How many are there this year? 32? All right, let’s continue….
So, there you have it, readers! A totally useless but hopefully amusing Mock Draft Mockery for your pleasure ahead of Thursday’s draft. If I have time, I’ll write a quick remark after the Jaguars pick in the first round and toss a couple of thoughts towards Friday’s 2nd round.
“Prognosticator” word cound: seven (7). See if any of you can beat that. See you soon!