Coloring with Teal: Mock Draft Mockery 2.22v1


As the cool autumn breezes of late January have given way to the winter of February 23rd and now the warming days of spring, we find ourselves wandering in the wasteland of the last weeks of the 2015 league calendar.

A lot of things have happened over the past two months, both for the NFL and the Jacksonville Jaguars. For the league, since the end of the regular season, Johnny Manziel went AWOL, head coaches were fired, head coaches were not fired, new head coaches were hired, St. Louis became the old Los Angeles (which itself became the new St. Louis), Peyton Manning stumbled into his second Super Bowl win and solidified his place as a Hall-of-Famer (tongue-in-cheek), Johnny Manziel got into more trouble with the police and with the Browns, players retired, and Aaron Rodgers played golf.

For the Jags, head coach Gus Bradley got …. nevermind; you read this site and already know the Jaguars’ status, and the news-reel-gag is running cold now, so let’s move on.

What’s important is that we’re not able to give you as much cool articles as we were three months ago, like when the Jags *almost* beat the Titans or when they definitively smashed the Colts a week later. So what to do?

As it happens, the team is actually very busy right now, preparing for this week’s combine while sorting out their free agency plans. Just this past week, Jacksonville welcomed back their backup quarterback, Chad Henne.
So, along with 31 other teams, Jacksonville has people in attendance to gather mounds of data, both useful (position drills, interviews, etc.) and not (broad jump? “Dude, did you see Allen Robinson make that sick catch and then broad jump from the Ten right into the End Zone?! UNBELIEVABLE!!!”). Of course, this means that everyone has put out a Mock Draft.

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One of the silliest things I can think of when it comes to the NFL Draft is the NFL Mock Draft put forth. It has reached such heights of whimsical lunacy that there are now Mock Drafts that are published the day of the current draft, a full year in advance! Sure, most mock drafts are fun and bit informative, even if this early. But my point is that for an average reader like myself who doesn’t follow the 25,000 college football players enough to have a clue who anyone is before they are drafted, these articles may as well be written about up-and-coming civil engineers.

But, the allure of writing my own mock draft is too strong to ignore, now that I have a forum in which to publish one (thanks,!), I plan to indulge.

Of course, perhaps you may already guess that I am going to put my own spin on the mock draft. In my very First Ever Mock Draft, which I will designate Mock Draft 2.22v1, I will not try the insane tradition of assigning players to teams according to draft order, player ranking, and multitudes of minutiae. Instead, I will use this years Draft Order and then prognosticate on how well each team will do with their pick.

Tennessee Titans. 1. player. 35. Unfortunately, teams cannot draft head coaches, so the Titans are stuck with Buffalo and Jacksonville also-ran <strong><a href=. 4th. AFC South

player. 53. *head shake*. Seriously, major props to the Dawg Pound for happily orbiting a black hole for so long.<p><strong>Pick:</strong> Adrift. They have a strong head coach coming in but no new GM, and without a QB to compete in the AFC North, the Dawgs will keep chasing their tails.</p>. 7th. AFC North. Cleveland Browns. 2

More jaguars: Jacksonville Jaguars 2016 Offseason series

There you have it! It’s not much of a mock draft, but it sure is a good draft mockery!

The draft order may change as the draft approaches and plays out, but the team characteristics won’t. Can’t wait for the draft!

See you after the Combine.