Coloring With Teal: AFC Power Rankings, CWT-style

JACKSONVILLE, FL - SEPTEMBER 25: Jacksonville Jaguars players take the field prior to the game aainst the Baltimore Racens at EverBank Field on September 25, 2016 in Jacksonville, Florida. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)
JACKSONVILLE, FL - SEPTEMBER 25: Jacksonville Jaguars players take the field prior to the game aainst the Baltimore Racens at EverBank Field on September 25, 2016 in Jacksonville, Florida. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images) /
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As the dust settles on the 2017 preseason and the Jacksonville Jaguars and 31 other teams turn their collective attention toward the regular season, Coloring With Teal takes a look at the current balance of power within the NFL.

Hi Readers! Hope you are all having a nice Labor Day holiday!

As I was saying, Blake Bortles is the Second Coming of…

Wait, that’s the start of a different article altogether. Sorry. Let’s try again.

JACKSONVILLE, FL – AUGUST 17: Allen Robinson
JACKSONVILLE, FL – AUGUST 17: Allen Robinson /

As the dust settles on the 2017 preseason and the Jacksonville blah blah blah NFL.

Hey everybody! Who’s up for some FOOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL??

All four of you who clicked on this title, thank you for joining us. Today, we’re going to have a look at the current state of the NFL as we, with doubt and dismay, careen ever so wildly toward another season of Jaguars Football and the NFL. What I want to do is look at the teams, grouped by division, and do my best to make fun of them. Along the way, as I do with the Draft, I’ll maybe, possible, perhaps, put some effort into it and offer some armchair thoughts on a particular team.

As usual, keep in mind that the following Power Rankings (NOTE: capitalized to indicate Major Importance) are random thoughts and musings and should not be taken as serious journalistic analysis. To wit:

COLORING WITH TEAL DISCLAIMER OF CONTENT (CWTDoC)

The following list is a compilation of assessments made with the intention to entertain

and only partially inform the reader. Most of the content is likely made up and should be

viewed as such. In fact, it’s likely that you are reading this now because you have already

read all the other “real” mock drafts and Black & Teal features, and there are no other

articles left to read. Don’t worry, I’m just happy to get the clicks. -CWT

I gave some thought as to how I would structure this. I figured: if it is a straight-up power rankings, the readership might expect me to produce one weekly. Unfortunately, that’s just too much for me and my schedule. Plus, my style would wear out by the end of the first quarter of the first game. However, if I offer it as a semi-seasonal listing, I might be able to get away with it. So I’ll offer this and maybe drop a more serious one later in the season. Furthermore, I’ll stick with just the American Football Conference (AFC) since the two conferences don’t really affect the other in the pecking order until the Super Bowl anyway.

AFC EAST

47. HOFer Bill Belichick hasn’t changed since last season. HOFer <a rel=. . Previous: -th. New England Patriots. 1. team

Miami Dolphins. 2. team. 59. A character on the television show “New Girl” calls him Jay “Cuttle-er” Cutler. There is nothing special there except that it is just fun to say. Go ahead, try it yourself. See? In 2016 Head coach Adam Gase guided the Dolphins to a second-place 10-6 record on quarterback <a rel=. . Previous: -th

Here’s ESPN.com commenting on former coach Philbin’s thoughts on Tannehill in 2014.

team. 16. I give the edge to Buffalo Bills for the third seat in the AFC East division on account of better stability at QB with <a rel=. . Previous: -th. Buffalo Bills. 3

Ah, the cellars in the north; one of the better places to keep a bottle of fine wine. New York finally dismissed their connection with Human Norseman <a rel=. . Previous: -th. New York Jets. 4. team. 30

One out of eight done. Next up:

More from Black and Teal

AFC North

Remember when Jacksonville was part of the AFC North? Well, back when it was the “Centeral” division. We used to compete with the Steelers for the AFC Central crown. Ahhh, the good old days.

Pittsburgh Steelers. 1. team. 55. Steelers finished their 2016 season 11-5 and have been first in the division since head coach Mike Tomlin took the reins of the team in 2007. He is the fifth-longest-serving head coach and quarterback <a rel=. . Previous: -th

Cincinnatti Bengals. 2. team. 56. The Red Rifle, a nickname apparently not appreciated by the Bengals’ signal caller, is geared up for another season to overtake the Steelers for the AFC North. <a rel=. . Previous: -th

Here is a reference to consider for the Red Rifle.

Previous: -th. Baltimore Ravens. 3. team. 26. Flacco is injured and trying to get back on the field, and the defense is not what it used to be. This team wants you to think it is trying to find its way but in reality this team is trying to find any way. They are not in a position to join the Steelers-Bengals battle for the division..

The Browns. This is a team that just can’t get out of its own way. Now, they have started to show signs of life since Hue Jackson has taken the head coaching reins. This is shown by dropping QB <a rel=. . Previous: -th. Cleveland Browns. . team. 53

AFC SOUTH

For years, people have considered the AFC South the cellar of the NFL. I disagree, but these four teams do need to get it together. Now, I have to set aside my fandomness and try to project objective thought. Here goes:

. Previous: -th. Tennessee Titans. 1. team. 35. The Jaguars fired <a rel=

team. 10. Houston has been the “class” of the AFC South for quite some time, stumbling by accident into the Division Crown year after year. They overcame Colts’ <a rel=. . Previous: -th. Houston Texans. 2

52. Ah, the Jags. They cut Big Cat Country/fan favorite and modern-day <a rel=. . Previous: -th. Jacksonville Jaguars. 3. team

Here’s Vic Ketchman, formerly at Jaguars.com, commenting about Quinn Gray and the clamor from the fanbase in 2006.

Indianapolis Colts. 4. team. 46. The Mighty Colts have fallen. Luck may be good, but he is only good for parts of the season due to being absent for the rest of the parts. The head coach has largely been on the hot seat for several seasons, the GM just got replaced and the owner is Jim Irsay. This team isn’t in a strong position to compete in the AFC South this year.. . Previous: -th

Reference: Colts fire GM Grigson.

Tennessee Titans. 5. team. 35. It’s the Titans. See, I don’t want anyone injured, my nature wants only good things to happen to people, but I also want the Titans to lose. Major lose. Prediction? 0-16. Ahhhhhh, wishful thinking…….. . Previous: -th

How many of you are planning to read after this division? As a scientist, I like experiments. Here’s an experiment you can help me with: comment below whether or not you read past the AFC South rankings. I’m just curious, and also I really want to hear your thoughts. Oh, and don’t forget to include “CWT is one of the best article series on a Jaguars website.” (wink-wink)

AFC WEST

Rounding out the American Football Conference, we take a look at the four clubs west of the Mississippi River:

team. 124. The Raiders and the Chiefs represent the class of the AFC West division. At this point I am not ready to name one better than the other, so I’ll just do it alphabetically. Kansas City is served by top-tier coach <a rel=. . Previous: -th. Kansas City Chiefs. 1

28. Oakland has come a long way from their 4-12 seasons with the arrival of <a rel=. . Previous: -th. Oakland Raiders. 1. team

Previous: -th. Denver Broncos. 3. team. 45. Denver has undergone some notable changes since winning the Super Bowl 50 (a.k.a. Super Bowl “L”). <a rel=.

I have mixed feelings about the Chargers’ move from San Diego to L.A. I think that the league has been obsessed with putting a team into Los Angeles for reasonable business reasons, but they have overlooked the fan factor. San Diego couldn’t come up with funds for a “new” stadium, but let’s be honest–once upon a time the Coliseum in Rome was “new”, and now it is a treasured historical landmark. How bad could a stadium be when there are public schools in true need of public funds? Bridges and roads? The moves by both Chargers and Rams are more about money and wherewithal and less about “stadiums”. Bad move, Chargers. Bad form.. . Previous: -th. San Diego Chargers. 4. team. 13

So that’s that. We’ll see how the Jaguars fare in the first quarter of the season. Share your thoughts below in the Comments section!

P.S. — You know what? It doesn’t feel right to conclude without tossing at least a couple of potshots at those teams who are easy targets, so…

The Bears lost Jay Cuttle-er and moved on to Mitch Trubisky, which likely spells another fourth-place seat in the NFC North division.

San Francisco is still trying to find their way out of a paper bag. Suckers!

Ahhhh, there, that feels better. Have a great season, Jag fans!