Black and Teal’s Official Mock Draft for the Jaguars

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Charlie Sheen

A self-proclaimed bi-winner, Sheen would instantaneously invigorate, and possibly intoxicate, our entire organization.  While players such as T.O. and Mark Herzlich are known locker room cancers, Charlie Sheen could become the heart of Jacksonville, pumping his tiger blood into our Jaguars veins.  This acquisition alone will guarantee at least three to four more wins a year, and a hepatitis outbreak amongst members of the Roar.

With a team leader already secured, our second round draft pick will be used to address our defensive backs, which were quadriplegic at best during several games last year.  While picking up a shut down corner is an appealing option, I will instead go with a powerhouse safety.  The Jaguars have lacked an enforcer at the safety position since the departure of Donovin Darius, and this is a recipe for disaster when facing Manning and Schaubb twice a year.  So with the 49th pick of the 2011 NFL Draft, the Jacksonville Jaguars select…