Vikings and Jaguars Share The Privilege Of Being The Best 0-2 Teams

I sat in 95 degree weather and all I got was a sunburn through three layers of sunscreen and an 0-2 record. Seriously guys you have no idea how hot it was. The food stand near my section ran out of Gatoraide, water and Diet Coke it was so hot. There was a guy who came out and handed out free ice it was so hot. I drank two giant cokes and copious amounts of sangria and didn’t even have to go to the bathroom the whole game it was so hot.

And I can’t even say “Well at least my fantasy team is winning” because it is not. At all. It is not even attempting to win. It is half time and Randy Moss has all of zero points. At this point my kicker is on his way to getting me the most amount of points for the day.

Remind  me again why I enjoy football because this seems really torturous to me.  The Jaguars were on track to being a playoff team. Some people even picked them to go all the way to the AFC championship. Some even picked us as the sexy Super Bowl pick! And now we’re 0-2 heading into an away game against the Colts, the Titans are the head of the AFC South and our team is in shambles. This is not the NFL I know. I feel like I am trapped in some screwed up real life version of Madden.  Where is my reset button?

The Jaguars now share the 0-2 rank with teams like the Bangles, Lions, Chiefs and Rams. No offense to any fans of those teams but none of them scream out “potential playoff team”. Perhaps it is our schedule, which certainly is a valid excuse for the Vikings. Much like the Jaguars, the Vikings can’t seem to seal the deal with touchdowns and they have to settle with field goals. They also are known for their run game and their non-traditional team colors.

I am going to chew on this loss for a little bit so my depressed thoughts don’t influence me into writing that David Garrard is done for or that our run game is finished or that that our defense is crap. You know how a loss can taint your feelings. Your heart is so heavy it is sinking into your stomach. You begin to take solace in the hardships of others. You laugh harshly at the idea of other good teams losing, too. Your fandom is tainted. You become a jerk. An irritable jerk. If this feeling builds up too long, you could be lost entirely. And people wonder why the city of Detroit is in the state it is in.

So I am going to chew on this loss, put on some aloe and laugh at the misfortunes of the PatriotsChargers. Then tomorrow I am going to wake up, take a deep breath, put on my Jaguars hat and hold my head high while chanting “at least we’re the best 0-2 team there is.”