The First Year Fantasy Footballer

Okay okay okay okay. I finally caved and signed up for a fantasy football league. I had avoided it for years because my rampent homerism clashes with the idea that you have to have people from other teams (possibly even rivals!) that you may possibly want to do… well. It borders on blasphemy!

I can’t tell you exactly what pushed me over the edge. Maybe it was the incredulous looks people gave me when they found out I hadn’t accepted that facet of fandom into my heart. Maybe it was peer pressure. Maybe it was because my fellow fansiders started up a league and I couldn’t resist the temptation to have the opportunity to kick their butts and at the same time say things like “teehee I have never played this before I have no idea what I am doing!”

(Here’s a hint: it was the last sentence.)

Truth be told, I did know some of the basics of fantasy football. You don’t draft a kicker til the end (sorry Scobee). Brian Westbrook didn’t go for the touchdown. Maurice Jones-Drew is better than Fred Taylor because he is the running back that gets the touchdowns. That is about it. I bought a fantasy draft guide from Publix, sat down with my boyfriend and prepared for last night’s draft.

Here at fansided, we had 16 people drafting. I had pick 9 which seemed nice to me. The other fansiders traded and moved up and down and all around but I was determined to sit right where I was. What do I know about this stuff?

My final draft looked like this:
Round 1: Randy Moss WR
Round 2: Willie Parker RB
Round 3: Edgerrin James RB
Round 4: David Garrard QB
Round 5: Joey Galloway WR
Round 6: Donald Driver WR
Round 7: Alge Crumler TE
Round 8: Chris Brown RB
Round 9: Jerry Porter WR
Round 10: Eagles D/ST
Round 11: Tarvaris Jackson QB
Round 12: Antwaan Randle El WR
Round 13: Mike Hart RB
Round 14: Jacob Hester RB
Round 15: Matt Stover K

Bold indicates starters.

As Adam from Arrowhead Addict observed, there were homer picks in that draft. I am sure you can pick out the most obvious but there are two others I picked because of other bias. Willie Parker is all sorts of awesome because he works out with Fred Taylor and was going to give up his Pro Bowl spot for him even before he got hurt. My boyfriend pushed for me to pick up Edgrerrin James because he is from the U. Antwaan Randle El played for the Steelers when I was dating a Steelers fan (thus, I watched every one of their games).

Stats? What the heck are those?

Also, I have apparently formed the geezer league because all my starters are really old. Not a single one of them was born after 1980. The youngest is Willie Parker (28) and the oldest is Matt Stover (40). 40. That is, what? 100 in football years? Aww geez my plan to mock the other fansiders may not actually work as planned.

My first game is against Ian from Inside the Iggles. You’re going down, buddy! You’re going to feel silly when you lose to a rookie fantasy player who has a team of players who probably went to school with John McCain.

Next Jaguars Game View full schedule »
Dick's Sporting Goods presents "Hell Week":

Tags: Fantasy Football Preseason

  • http://landryhat davedallasfan

    hey not bad for your first draft, and what the hell does adam know???? hey watch out for ian in that first game. he can be a fiesty little bitch. he’s an iggle fan you know, and if you’ve seen the cowboy/eagle meassage board feud goin down?, well all i can say is good luck and watch your back. one piece of advice, try to trade for mendenhall the pitt. tailback. if parker would get hurt, he’d be a monster in that offence. probably will be anyway. that would give you the pitt ground game, and the new england air attack, thats ok to build a team on. good luck

  • Jeanne

    I know about Ian. I saw that post he made about Micheal Irvin and it made my stomach turn a little.

    The reason you recommend Mendenhall is the same reason I picked up Jacob Hester (he’s LT’s backup). I think some one in our league got Medenhall, though.

  • http://landryhat davedallasfan

    if possible work out a trade for him. word from the “experts” is that he will be the starter by mid season. he will be the goal line man from the start. willie only got 2 rushing tds last year, and his durability our always a question. he’s got speed to burn, but originally was a change of pace, third down back, and i’m not sure if he can take the pounding of 20-25 carries a game. mendenhall is a horse, 220lbs, a driver….you might get him for, say, chris brown and randel l, for mendenhall and one of his backup wrs????? hell it’s worth a shot. having mendy would gaurentee you pitts ground game, with moss and garrarg you’d be very solid at your key spots. hey just my 2 cents. i’m 10 th in a 14 man league and i’ve got my target on moss too. hey good luck again

  • http://landryhat davedallasfan

    woops sorry about garrad!!!! i did’nt mean to call him garage

  • http://landryhat davedallasfan

    shit i still spelled it wrong!!!! oh well you get the picture. spelling is not my strong suit as you can see.