Fantasy Folly

After ranting and raving about my ‘unbeatable’ fantasy team not 5 days earlier, not only did I get smoked in my matchup this week (113-61.7), but nearly all of my predictions couldn’t have been further from correct. Therefore my original prediction (of me being wrong on most and/or all of them) came true. So Nostradamus can shove it. However I am ecstatic the Jags came away with a much-needed equalizing victory before the bye in Denver that Jeanne already touched upon. I’ll throw in my two cents (really all I can afford at this point) into that later.

Being that making myself look bad is my (Matt) forte, let’s see just how retarded I look after Week 6’s crazy shenanigans for the enjoyment of both readers and naysayers alike.

Me: “Now my team is 3-2 and ready to make some real noise” – Real noise of course being a 51.3 point loss after giving my opponents some bulletin board material.

Me: “I think the Bears defense will…force a young Matt Ryan into a few turnovers.” Ryan was 22 of 30 for 301 yards and NO turnovers. Nice job Bears/me.

Me: “I wouldn’t be surprised if Clinton Portis, Chris Cooley, Jason Campbell, and Santana Moss played the Rams 4-on-11 and still stomped them” – Well, they played the Rams with a full team and put up 17 on a defense who’s job description reads: “giving up points.” Pathetic.

Me:  “I like the Dolphins D in this one.” – They gave up 29 points, and on the last play of the game made Matt Schaub look like Michael Vick before the signature orange prison scrubs.

Me: “I like Matt ‘Cassel Rock Productions’ against the Chargers’ lifeless defensive backs.” – The only thing that looked lifeless in this one was the entire Pats team.

Me: “Ravens defense against the Colts” – Luckily I started the Ravens D.

Me: “Anybody not from Ohio playing against New York” – Yep.

With my acute predictive knowledge, it’s a damn good thing I don’t get paid for this type of stuff – otherwise I’d have a job as a Lehman Brothers financial advisor.

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